I had the weirdest dream about taking the 84 with high schoolers, playing cards on the beach, bringing my blankets to the beach and accidentally getting them wet by playing too close to the water, someone telling me that it’s Egyptian sand, seeing a friend of mine get stabbed and then playing the immortality card like Nathan from Misfits or something and not die but be really bruised at his tummy, then wall climbing at this Kanye West-owned wall climbing museum where you have to climb over white leather couches and hold on to this littered bottle to climb up until you reach the top and there are exotic dancers wearing mint green skimpy lingerie dancing while you climb and even if you fall there are mink cushions covering your fall. And then the museum becomes like a reality show about who can make it to the top of the wall hosted by Nick Cannon. And contestants are separated by age and then these three children are getting ready to climb and then I ask them what do they wear when they climb and they say nothing and I thought they were girls so that’s why it was weird that they’re topless but they turn out to be young boys. Channing Tatum is one of the judges and he laughs looks away at the sight of thetopless boys and I think he thought they were girls too. anyways, I really want to compete because I actually climbed the entire wall before and I really want to complete. But then I’m in New York with my yearbook class-ish doing a scavenger hunt and we just finished finding a type of handbook when I woke up.
Because it just happens. When you wear cheap neon heels produced by chain-smoking 10-yr old sweatshop boys, there isn’t always going to be well-supported padding in the shoes. Your feet may develop calluses. Parts of your feet seemed to have lost all moisture. It becomes a barren land.
Or you may have a pair of tree stumps. You can see the curved stripes of skin cells, dating each time you decided to wear uncomfortable shoes and trek uncomfortably, layer by dry layer. You pick at it but it doesn’t leave. You smother it with Vaseline and it just leaves grease stains on your slippers. It’s tough. When you try to erase it with the tips of your nails, it’s like scratching flesh that does not belong to you.
If only I got to the theatre earlier. If I did, I would’ve marvelled (pun intended) at the flashy action sequences of The Avengers instead of watching Zac Efron and an older Blake Lively-lookalike lady cry, laugh and get it on. I watched The Lucky One.
In a nutshell: soldier boy Logan (Zac Efron) comes home with war guilt for being alive while his buddies all died in Iraq (hence, The Lucky One). Also with him is a photo he found of a pretty blonde (Taylor Schilling) who served as his guardian angel. Within the first 15 minutes of the film, he tracks her down. Instead of confronting her about the picture right then and there, he realizes, “Gee, this movie will not happen if I just do that.” So, he decides to stay and train dogs with her, and thereby extending the movie’s life span to the 1 hr 41 minutes of long montages, soft rock music and foresty foliage.
We watch Troy Bolton Zac Efron as he sports unconvincing facial stubble, falls in love, plays with dogs, plays the piano, protects the girl - basically, acting as the strong, silen,t sensitive protective type that girls are supposed to swoon for. He is the foil to the brash and violent ex-husband Keith, played by Jay R. Ferguson, most known (to me) as Stan on Mad Men. The movie is based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks: the man who gave us such gems as The Notebook and Dear John, so you should know what you’re in for (predictable love story + war trauma). Overall, it was very schmaltzy and American, and that’s all I have to say about that.
At least it was Toonie Tuesday.
Tim Burton’s latest effort brings together family values and supernatural beings wrapped in Timmy B’s signature quirky aesthetics. Vampires, witches, werewolves (whoops! spoiler!) galore! A lot of it was predictable, cyclical Hollywood fare. The trope of a man from the past finding the modern world strange and confusing because he’s from another time period is tired and overused, but Johnny Depp’s proper Englishman (sorry, Liverpudlian) delivery does incite laughter among the merry moviegoers. From Helena Bonham Carter to Skins’ Cassie (sadly Hannah Murray is however simply credited as Hippie Girl and shows up for 10 seconds), it was an alright movie.